Passions within..

My heart will never be the same. It is a very strange and awkward feeling to have ones heart change so suddenly so unexpectedly! I know I have experienced this before, it all started with my' first love.' It has happened consistently throughout my life, each change, some subtle, some profound, yet each change the result of something very intricate and unique.
Now I have learned,' I have my own experience,' as it has been said to me, in a matter that is uniquely mine! It seems when one is immersed in ones passion, ones joy, marvelous and unexpected things begin to happen!
 These passions are not emotions and feelings, although feelings and emotions they will evoke; these passion are the very essences of ones soul, they are tangible in that they are you!
I truly believe that the human soul is created full of these passions. A unique creation we are, for us, as Gods best creation can contain such wonders; bringing such overwhelming joy, deep satisfaction and youthful celebration to our very own hearts, to others, and thus so powerfully to the Heart of God.
This is why the Son was given , to be received and then change the heart of a living soul so that these joys are now free and unlocked, existing to flood back to the one who first created them .' All things Created, All things created....’ (So the song goes).....
Creation and the created for the purpose of love, have a beauty an awesomeness that will inspire, awake, and assure ones very soul...
I want to always remember this!
I want to always breathe each day with this joy flooding my heart and soul.
I wonder if this makes sense only to me?

Koln ,Germany, the Cathedral a gift to My Heart!

My time in Koln is one event I will never forget! Inspirational? Yes!
, ...I will start from the beginning.. As we, Markus, Marion, Katharina and Jasmine and I approached the train station at Koln/Cologne I began to look for the The Dome Cathedral and its spires far off into the distance.  Not seeing anything that I thought might be this great Cathedral I anticipated a longish walk...I had only seen a drawing of this great Cathedral, in Koln/Cologne and that was years ago. 'Not to worry" I thought to myself, Markus knows where it is. I relaxed and enjoyed the moment...I couldn't believe that we/I were in Koln! "Today is a great day!"

 ”What do you think Pam?" the question comes from Markus..   Hmmm...” What do I think of what? I ask myself. Markus is smiling and expecting a great answer...well I do like train stations! I remembered my first train to Berlin... it is hard not to fall in love /with Berlin!!! :) Now, Pam;  it is not time to talk of Berlin; it is time to  remember Koln/Cologne hmmm...What do I think of Koln so far? That is what Markus had asked.  Well it is another great day in Germany; I am excited about the whole day ahead, but of Koln? I have not seen anything yet!; just the train station?; Why would Markus be asking me now? So I try a "So far so good" with a laugh and big smile! Hoping he sees my enthusiasm. He seems a  little puzzled by my answer,  We say our farewell to Katharina ,Jasmine and Marion they are off onto another train to visit the zoo ....some fun for Jasmine , who by the way is the easiest little girl to travel across the world with!
Now we are walking off the platform...I am instantly halted ....for this absolutely massive mountain comes into direct view, right before me and towering over me... I feel very small and a little dizzy.....The' Cathedral" had blocked my view!! Markus and I begin to laugh at the fact that I had missed seeing the Cathedral even though it was right before me it was so big I thought it was collection of buildings! What a funny moment!! I take a deep breath and just enjoy this moment...
We walk around the outside; every angle is a picture moment!!  My favorite, taken when I laid on the pavement and took the picture straight up.
 The Cathedral is a mountain with sharp peaks and what looks like jagged upright crevices, formed by the multiple pinnacles, spires and arches,  all ordained with what seems to be  multitudes of carvings and sculptures. The building is a streaked cascade of black, grey, and white, this adds to the drama. Hundreds of years of soot and dirt and the washing of rain, have no doubt, caused this cascade of streaks over the entire building   ... I know there ii a message in that picture alone!
Markus, who knows we have a time frame to keep in mind, very gently asks if I want to go inside. I am not ready; I need a little more time... So he suggests a museum he had thought I may be interested in. It is right beside the Cathedral, no time wasted...and it turns out to be an interesting little museum; notably ancient headstones from a Frankish/ Roman cemetery.  I don't mind cemeteries, I visit them every so often at home, read the stones, think of the people they were, their lives and those they loved and loved them.
The museum has a collection of original busts of different roman rulers as well. Some of these rulers’ names I remember, like Nero, Augustus, Caesar, and Tiberius. I search the stone faces for any trace of personality. Could that calm face of a man really be the violent Dictator, I had read about? And the answer is yes!
An hour and half latter and a short walk from the museum, we are at a Cafe on the River Rhine!   Schnitzel and A beer! My first Schnitzel in Germany but not my first beer! lol
Now, I am ready for the Dome Cathedral... A few blocks walk and I am once again face to face with this huge mountain!" I think I need to take a few more pictures", I tell Marcus. Really, this is just a bluff to have a few extra minutes to quiet my heart!...
Markus goes in first... he comes out "Pam" he says" you had better go in now! There is a choir of children singing, you do not want to miss that". He is very right!... My hearts skips a beat... he will wait outside to rendezvous with Katharina, Jasmine and his wife Marion....
I go in; it is shadowed and cool, it is strangely comforting to be in there, I am under a low ceiling area. Low in comparison to the main room; towering, light filled, interwoven arched ceilings. I am reminded of the earth and of the heavens.
The main aisle is right before me, I begin to take some steps towards the" heaven" before me; the choir begins with beautiful high clear voices. The music, their voices fill every air space around me; and I am literally transfixed in place; just behind the last pew, to the left of the main aisle, and I begin to softly cry, the kind of cry that sends streams of water down your face, and you can't say a word or even want to! My senses tell me the music  is all around, above me ,below me ,to the right, to the left, I feel it s vibration within me, my heart beats with the music, the music is inside me! I do not, want to stop and try and figure out what is going on with me, I will go with the experience and let it all just ...happen!
I do not know for sure how long I remained there ...I have literally lost track of time.. At some point little Jasmine is right in front of me, she hugs me... ohh that feels so very good... that  little touch... "The tenderness of a child affection”. I feel God whispering to me ....I am now very aware of everything and I begin to look around seeing the beauty of the vast space I am in. The light and shadows, the glowing stain glass windows, the arches the columns, the niches, and candles. ..My good friend Katharina gives me all the time in the world to just be! She knows, I need time. Thank you my friend for this grace and gift of time!
Latter after the music is finished and I have moved deeper into this massive chamber of light and shadow, of cool air, of echoes... I hear God speak to me, deep within my heart...
It starts with a word and a picture, the word "chamber"; a" human heart "the picture.  Thoughts and words fill my mind.. I hope you can see what it is I saw in that Cathedral, you will have to look with the eyes of your heart!

This Cathedral is a massive chamber, resembling the heart. The Heart we all know, is the pump within the body. Its work never ends here on this earth.   So much like the working of God here on earth.
 I hear, deep in my heart ..."You know this Pam."...”The Heart pumps the old blood into the lungs to be revived, with oxygen, and pumps the fresh blood to the whole body, to bring life”. The heart is the mechanism that literally delivers health to the body."  The body, the person,  now  can have refreshing and life, full vibrant joyful life, unstopping and powerful. Is not the heart beautiful in its function and ability to deliver" life" .
 And now I know that The Lord is revealing to me a living picture of His very own Heart... I am crying and praying quietly and yet it is so intense .I want to see this picture so clearly, I pray... Lord show me, help me see clearly, help me learn and be changed by this message to my heart.
 The Lord is just like this picture...He is to us' the heart of the Father" that will bring life and life more abundantly.  In Him will be, the push and pull, the flow, so that cleansing and refreshing can come, must come. In Him and through Him, we live , we journey..this is the continual cleansing and renewal needed to be a healthy vibrant"Life"...I know once again that He is not looking for the perfect only for the willing!

This Cathedral made by man hundreds of years ago and over a 300 year time span is so much more then this feat of architecture. It could be that the motives of some who wanted its creation were not so pure, but I believe at least some hearts were motivated rightly! Perhaps it was some of the workers who had hoped that the Cathedrals creation would be inspiration to the heart of man. I for one like to think that this was the case.
 Thoughts start to form and flow in my mind, Could this Cathedral be a large object lesson?  A man comes in through the shadow, into the light, worship flows, like the blood, and fills every space. The Cathedral a 4 d picture to the seeking heart of any man.
It is within man that this experience is transformed in worship, praise and honor. The Chambers/Cathedrals true function, to stir and inspire worship within the heart of man to the one true God, refreshing those who come with a humble heart...I feel relief spreading over my mind at this thought.  Now the question arises "How Much More is the true and real Heart of God for His Children"... for you , for me , for us?... How much more can the Heart of God bring true refreshing, liberty and strength to the world of mankind? For His heart can not truly be seen by our mortal eyes it is so massively large we can not take into view its enormity and yet we are designed to experience it s power and abundant life!
 The heart of God, will I ever experience its entirety this side of eternity?
Koln/Cologne and its Cathedral... what a gift to my heart!

Germany ... Never thought it would come to mean so much to me!

Germany....what can be said? Germany is so much more then a geography, nature, history, art, culture and people. All of this together gave me a real sense of what a old world country was really like as compared to  "the new world" a "young country". These descriptions of Canada and The USA were  by the way, what I had been taught in school we were!  However visiting and the opportunity to live within a family setting gave me a real perspective that proved to not only be amazing but I think life changing!  
There were hidden jewels in Germany... for me a treasure I did not expect. :)  
What surprised me first was that everything around me seemed familiar and yet new. The oldness of Germany was like seeing a grandparent... you love your grandparent and their oldness because they are a part of you; their past is a part of your past. You feel ... comfortable, in an uncomfortable way!        
 I felt like I could identify with everything and yet I felt separate from it. I had a very definite sense that I was from a young country, a still much undeveloped country, a rugged country, a country with great potential and possibility; everything i saw in Germany was/is developed and re developed, renovated and re renovated. This was so much more then just interesting or admirable it was touching!. Everywhere the past was a welcomed part of the future. Old building were not just old buildings they were an integral part of the present day; to me it was like witnessing the act of loyalty....
 I was pleasantly surprised and sometimes pleasantly perplexed while in Germany. Did I like Germany... yes and yet the word' like" is far too simple an expression. Germany contained for me an experience that I was so surprised to have and yet it was so needed.. My experiences were many, some simple , some complicated, ... some I was amazed at ... some made me weep, some made me laugh ,some made me shout, sometimes I could only whisper or not  even make a sound, some made me grow as a person, some made my heart pound! And of these some were in solitude, some experienced with another/others; I wonder if those experiences were felt in their heart, the same as in mine?
The treasures I discovered were really re discoveries within myself. In Germany I began to write again; poetry and songs were inspires; I began to sketch again and paint, I could walk for hours and hours, jogging in the coolness of the morning was ....awesome,,, something was  revived, something refreshed, ....this something was my heart... and for that Germany will always have a part of my heart. Did I love Germany? Better then that I Loved in Germany!!!!